1: "Hello, my name is Peterson Thurston the
Fourth. Hey, why don't you be Peterson Thurston the Fourth this time?"
2:
"No."
1: "Hold on…there."
1:
"What?"
2: "Now you're me. I've given you my
powers. Use them wisely, Peter-Crap-Collar."
1: "Peter-Crap-Collar?"
2:
"That's my nickname. Well…it's yours now. Your comrades started calling
you that after you wore that collar made of crap to dinner a few years ago. The
dining room smelled so bad, everyone assumed it was the collar, but it turned
out to be the old cheese stuck to your armpit hairs."
1:
"That's gross."
2: "How did you know there were
144 tiny cheese balls? Wait…of course you know. You have all my powers.
Be sure to use them for good, otherwise cheese will start growing on your armpit
hairs."
1: "So that's what happened to you during
the dinner?"
2: "Actually I super-glued those to
my hairs beforehand. I thought they looked festive. Like little ornaments."
1:
"You're me now, Hamilton, so why don't you just sit there and read the newspaper
like I wanted to do?"
2: "My name isn't Hamilton."
1:
"OK, smart guy. What is your real name?"
2: "George
Charming."
1: "How…how did you know that?"
2:
"I know that because it's my name."
1: "How
could you possibly know? Did you steal my wallet?"
2:
"My parents didn't raise a thief, Peterson."
1: "Have
you been following me around? What else do you know about me? I mean, about yourself."
2:
"I'm a hard-working engineer. I eat more canned beans than I'd like to admit.
When I was twelve years old I stole 40 dollars from my mother's wallet and I've
always wanted to tell her the truth, but never have."
1:
"I never told anyone about that. Are you some sort of psychic?"
2:
"Could you please stop talking to me, Peterson? This has been entertaining,
but I've never really been one for entertainment."
1:
"Maybe you're some sort of wizard. And maybe…maybe I have your powers
now. If you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to shoot 144 rabid trout
out my fingertips."
2: "That's a stupid power."
1:
"You're a stupid power."
2: "What does that
even mean?"
1: "I'm sorry, Hamilton. I don't know
what got into me. I feel much better now. I feel like kittens and sunshine."
2:
"Great. Hey, why are you wearing my suit? Why am I wearing your muumuu?"
1:
"It's just one of life's little mysteries. Like candied fruits or dried fruits.
Let's close our eyes and believe."
2: "Believe what?"
1:
"Shh…I'll tell you when you're older."