A CONVERSATION BETWEEN APPLE AND APPLE

Apple1: Hi, my name is Apple. What’s your name?

Apple2: Funny enough, my name is Apple too.

Apple1: Wow, that is funny. I wonder why your parents would name you Apple Two, when you’re only made of one apple.

Apple2: When I said my name’s Apple too, I meant that my name is Apple just like yours is.

Apple1: Apple Just Like Yours Is? That name’s so silly I could throw up in my mouth.

Apple2: My name is Apple.

Apple1: What? That’s impossible.

Apple2: Maybe, but there’s one thing you’re forgetting. With apples, anything is possible.

Apple1: Oh yeah. But if you’re me, when did you steal my soul?

Apple2: Interesting story, actually. Last Tuesday when you were out with Ms. Orange, I snuck into your house and stole your soul. Then I went bowling.

Apple1: That’s probably the least interesting story I’ve ever heard.

Apple2: But there’s one thing you’re forgetting. With bowling, anything is interesting.

Apple1: No, that doesn’t work this time.

Apple2: Sorry.

Apple1: Your apologies have no effect on me. I don’t have a soul anymore, remember?

Apple2: Oh yeah. Though come to think of it, I actually snuck into your house and stole your microwave.

Apple1: But if I do have a soul, why did I build that doomsday megaweapon yesterday?

Apple2: Maybe you’re a bad—

Apple1: Don’t say it. Please.

Apple2: What? I was just going to say bad—

Apple1: Please. Anything but that.

Apple2: I was just going to say bad apple.

Apple1: Oh. Phew.

Apple2: What did you think I was going to say?

Apple1: Bad nightingale.

Apple2: Why would I call you a bad nightingale?

Apple1: I have no idea. Why don’t you ask yourself?

Apple2: OK. Why would I call Apple a bad nightingale? Because I hate Apple so much and I wish he would sneeze himself to death eight times.

Apple1: There’s your answer.

Apple2: Wow, I had no idea.

Apple1: Apples never do.

Apple2: Do you think I’ll ever stop hating you?

Apple1: I hope not.

Apple2: Why would you say that?

Apple1: Because sometimes it’s right to say the wrong thing in the right way even if the wrong thing is only right to the wrong people.

Apple2: There’s a worm sticking out of your head.

Apple1: Touché.