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Seremy Yardfellow: First
of all, I have to say that I love your novel Vacation. The moment I received it
in the mail, I contained it in one of those vacuum food sealer bags and preserved
it in my freezer. It's my most prized possession.
Jeremy C. Shipp: I'm flattered, I think. I'm just wondering…did you read the book beforehand? Or do you have a spare copy? SY: Technically speaking, I haven't read the book, as of yet. But from what I've gathered from all the reviews, I'm sure it'd be my favorite novel of all time. JCS: That's…nice to hear. SY: So, Jeremy. Can I call you Jeremy? JCS: Of course. SY: Can I call you Little Buddy? JCS: No. SY: Jeremy, what's it like to be better than everyone else? JCS: I'm not better. No one's better than anyone else. I don't believe in a hierarchy of value when it comes to life. SY: Yeah, but I'm not talking about hierarchies. I'm just saying you're a demigod, and everyone should respect and fear you. JCS: I'm an ordinary man, just like you. SY: Right. I'm the Chosen One, and you're calling me ordinary. For a god, you're not very all-knowing. JCS: I'm not a god. SY: Well, at least you're modest. Moving on. Can I take a picture of you while you're wearing this hat? JCS: That's a bird's nest. SY: That's what makes it funny. Trust me, everyone in the Fan Club will find it hilarious. I mean, the only other person in the Club is Bob, but he's got a great sense of humor. You should see the impression he does of you. The way he sticks pens up his nose and crawls around on all fours, shouting, "Look at me! I'm a writer! I like to write stories about killer toilets!" You've really gotta see it in person. JCS: How is that anything like me? I've never even written a story about killer toilets. Not that I can remember anyway. SY: It's just a joke, Jeremy. You don't have to be so defensive about it. JCS: Sorry. SY: Anyway, we'll do the hat thing later. Now, a few weeks ago, I contacted all my family and friends, and told them if they had any questions they wanted to ask you, I'd ask you for them. Is that alright? JCS: Yeah. Go ahead. SY: OK. Here's a question from my little nephew. He wrote, "Have you ever heard of a blood-sucking hedgehog drinking the blood of an always-winning monster?" JCS: I can't say that I have. SY: Well, that's all the questions they sent me. But I have plenty more myself. JCS: Great. SY: What caused you to write Vacation? JCS: Well, I'd say the passion that fueled this book came from my love for all the life on this planet, and my disgust toward those systems that cause unnecessary suffering. SY: I heard that you were possessed by the spirit of an ancient demon named Chornoth when you wrote the book. Is there any truth to that? JCS: No. SY: Are you sure? Bob said he had some pretty reliable sources. JCS: I've never been possessed. SY: Or maybe you're possessed right now, and it's the demon making you say that. JCS: There's no demon. SY: We'll just accept it as a possibility, and move on to the next question, shall we? What advice would you give to someone who wants to be like you? JCS: I suppose my best advice for people who want to be published authors would be: write a lot, read a lot, don't let rejections get you down, and don't give up. Oh, and if you're not passionate about your ideas and your characters, then the reader probably won't be either. So write from your heart, your gut, your soul. Anywhere, as long as it means that you care about what you're writing. SY: Actually, I should have said: What advice would you give to someone who wants to be exactly like you? You know, look like you, talk like you, smell like you. That sort of thing. JCS: I just remembered. I have a dental appointment. I've gotta go. SY: Wait, can I have a lock of your hair first? JCS: No. SY: But I can't finish the doll without it. JCS: I don't care. SY: Well, fine. I guess it's true what they say about meeting your heroes. They'll only disappoint you with their stupidity and their shabby clothing. You also stink, by the way. Thanks for coming. |
  
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