THE TOP 11 WAYS TO DEAL WITH GHOSTS

1. Bake them vegan organic fruit juice sweetened oatmeal cookies (with no carrageenan).

2. Throw them a "Who's the Boss?" theme party, and come dressed as Tony Micelli's big toe.

3. Tell them you'd like to buy a singing Christmas penguin at Pic 'N' Save, and let them remind you that the store's now called Big Lots.

4. Create a treasure hunt for them where they'll ultimately find a basket filled with potato skin jewelry.

5. Tell them a joke about a spontaneously-combusting yard gnome and his friend, the French Toast Fairy.

6. Crochet them some hats with duck pirates on the front.

7. Say, "You're not not not not not not my friend."

8. Adopt a baby coconut monkey in their honor, and name the monkey "Avalanche Herrington."

9. Don't call them stinky barnacles.

10. Organize an aspartame burning party, and come dressed as Angela Bower's big toe.

11. Say, "What the spork!" a lot.