he stops breathing
a cloud of nightmare swarms around my head
creating
moments so unreal and silent
the loudest silence i've ever heard
3
hours after falling asleep, i wake up
choking on truth
reality squirming
into every pore
i cry and whimper, hard
i remember the way he answered
the phone
i remember the poster on his door with the chimpanzee that said,
"I am old. Please hug me."
and i get frustrated at a little pom-pom
creature i'm trying to glue together
his legs won't stay on
he keeps
falling apart
i remember sitting in his hot car, because he was always cold,
and i listened to his stories, sweating and wishing for freedom from the heat,
but not wanting to leave until the story was over
even after he couldn't
drive anymore, he still told me his stories
the names were often wrong
the
events were often scrambled
but it didn't matter
i knew what he meant
now
i drive his car
the unbearable heat is gone
but the stories still
remain
sometimes i feel numb
sometimes i feel everything
i don't
know which feels worse