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Using astral projection and an old toaster, I, Nightblade (Jeremy's
arch nemesis), managed to possess this website for the time being, so that I could
impart some important news. I was flipping through the "Big Book of Apocalypses" the other day, and I noticed that Jeremy's novel Vacation was listed as one of the five signs of the Apocalypse. And I'm not talking about one of those happy-go-lucky apocalypses packed with dancing puppies and strawberry jam. I'm talking about The Apocalypse. You know the one. We're talking blood-sucking nectarines, overzealous hangnails, and cannibalistic microwaves. "What can I do to help prevent this disaster?" you might ask. Well, there is one thing. You have to stop buying Jeremy's novel Vacation. In fact, if even one more copy is sold, then The Apocalypse is going to begin. You might think I'm writing this because I hate Jeremy and was recently quoted as publicly calling him, "the worst kind of doodyhead." Of course I do hate Jeremy and he is the worst kind of doodyhead, but I'm writing this because I'm trying to help save the world from vomit tornadoes. So don't buy Jeremy's book. Not only is it apocalypse-spawning, it's also really, really stupid. And the proof is in the moldy pudding. Here's an excerpt from Vacation. Judge for yourself whether or not this trash is worth purchasing. --- "I'm feeling very bad," said Mr. Vacation. "Why is that?" said Bob. "Because I think I'm going to have explosive diarrhea," said Mr. Vacation. "That's too bad," said Bob. Then he pointed to a spot behind Mr. Vacation's back. "Look behind your back!" said Bob. "It's a vampire!" "Oh no!" said Mr. Vacation, turning around. Bob smiled, ironically revealing his two pointy fangs. "I don't see any vampire," said Mr. Vacation. "Oh, you will," Bob said. "You will." And Bob bit Mr. Vacation's neck very hard. Mr. Vacation woke up in his bed, coated with sweat. "I can't believe it!" Mr. Vacation said. "It was a dream all along!" Or was it, my good readers? Or was it? |
  
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